Lost and the Sovereignty of God.....

This past Sunday I experienced, for the first time, a miscarriage. My baby was about 7 weeks. I would have to say it was very hard and still is. But the peace that the Lord has given me can not be ignored. He has been so very gracious to me. When the sorrow becomes heavy there He is to comfort me. My heart is lifted and I even smile. I can't help but to think about our little one in the arms of the Lord. The joy and happiness that is our child's. How can I remain sad. But I go back and forth like this. I fall and grieve and then the Lord smiles on me and lifts my soul to rejoice. I know that it is not by chance but a choice that my Father has made and I rest in His goodness and His will. I will cry and I will hurt but I am not without GREAT hope. All of my other children where very upset that we lost the baby. Everyone was so... excited and my oldest sweet daughter had been making a stuff animal for the new little one. I didn't know that she was until I said to her hey why don't you finish your stuff animal and she replied, "I can't I was making that for the baby". My heart just broke into pieces. I told her make it anyway and we will put it in a shadow box with the baby's name. We chose the name Jesse/Jessie because we didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl.